My Dad, Grief & Six Years

In the course of my life I have known many people who have died. I’m not referring primarily to those whom I have buried in the course of my priestly ministry. I’m talking about people I have known. Some have been relatives, some classmates, some friends and acquaintances. I think of them every now and again like on the anniversary of their death or if I come across an old photo or a holy card from their funeral stuck between the pages of a book. Sometimes it’s a song on the radio, an old episode of a TV show or a kind of food that may bring them to mind.

Then, there is my Father, Al. I have written about this before; how my grief for him continues and is always keenly felt at this time of year. May 31st marks six years since his passing. The odd thing is that, so far, my Dad has the distinction of being the one person in my life who, since he died, I have thought about every day. Every single day.

Until my Father passed away I had never experienced a grief like that before. I had grieved to be sure. There were deaths that were extremely hard to take and for many of those loved ones a pall of sorrow hung on me for a long time. But, there always came a time when I could let that go a bit and not call them to mind except every now and then.

With my Dad it was different. You see, when I was very young I idolized my Father as I think many little boys growing up in the 60s and 70s in the New York suburbs did. I can recall hearing his key in the front door at 18 Cedar Drive South in the small Long Island village of Old Bethpage and dropping everything to run and meet him half shouting-half singing, “Daaaaaaaddy’s hooooooome”. (That’s me in the pretty beat up photo with him on my first birthday in the kitchen of our L.I. home.)

Things changed when I got a bit older and I spent quite a few years being a little afraid of my Father and then growing distant from him and even kind of disliking him. I never stopped loving him and I never, not even for one second, felt like he didn’t love me but when I was a teenager I just didn’t seem to like or understand him very much.

Time, as it always does, changed things again and while the distance from my Father lasted well into my college years eventually the gap began to narrow again. As I grew older I also grew to become more like him and, suddenly, I could understand him so much more. I came to be genuinely close to my Father. We shared many common interests and I’m so happy that I overcame the fear of being affectionate with him. Long before he died I took many opportunities to tell him that I loved him and after years of a handshake or a wave I regressed to my boyhood greeting of kissing him hello and goodbye. In fact, at my first Mass as a priest my Parents presented the bread and wine to be used in the Mass. As they handed each item to me I kissed each of my Parents on the lips. Later, one of the other priests in attendance told me that the priest next to him leaned over and said, “Guy kissed his Dad on the mouth?” The other priest replied, “Well, you know, Guy is half Italian.” The first priest then quickly said, “Oh, well THAT makes sense then!”

What also returned to me as I grew older was an appreciation of how my Dad had always been around in my life. He always provided for us as a family and for me personally, he was always a rock upon which I could lean. I’ve been having a particularly stressful time in the last few weeks and I’ve been missing my Father so very, very much these days.

What I wouldn’t give to hear that familiar click as the key unlocks the door at 18 Cedar Drive South...

Pentecost

A traditional hymn to the Holy Spirit. Very fitting on this Pentecost Sunday, long considered the "birthday" of the Church.

The "Commish"

Recently I was invited to become a member of the New Jersey Catholic Historical Commission. I was very honored to receive such an invitation and I indicated my willingness to accept. Today, I was informed that I am now considered a member of the Commission!

The New Jersey Catholic Historical Commission, a.k.a. theNJCHC was founded in 1976, and was formerly known as the New Jersey Catholic Historical Records Commission. It is a specially appointed board sponsored by the Catholic Bishops of New Jersey and Seton Hall University with its administrative offices within the Archives & Special Collections Center. The objective of this Commission is to collect, preserve and publish works related to the New Jersey Catholic history experience. Each year the NJCHC sponsors educational seminars on topical issues that highlight important aspects of Catholic history and works to support various projects in line with its ongoing mission of scholarship and public awareness.

The Commission decided that it would be a good idea to have a Commissioner who had some knowledge of ecclesiastical heraldry, hence the invitation to me to join them. I think its wonderful that they have considered the role that heraldry plays in Church life, so often overlooked, and seen its importance as a means of marking the history of the Church in New Jersey. I look forward to working with them.

Canadian Tabard

The tabard, the traditional garment of a herald, was officially unveiled today. The tabard is constructed entirely in royal blue, the colour emblematic of the Governor General of Canada, and depicts a unique collection of Canadian symbols of heritage and honour. The tabard is comprised of 4 sections, the front, the rear and the sleeves. The sections collectively weigh approximately 4.5 pounds. The most unusual characteristic of the tabard is that the body of the tabard is devoid of the more traditional placement of the arms of the sovereign, and are embroidered instead, on the tabard's removable sleeves. The arms are partitioned horizonatally into equal 1/3's. I would have preferred a more traditional garment where the arms of the Queen in right of Canada had been depicted on the entire body of the tabard as well as on the sleeves in full color. It's a bit disappointing but, nevertheless, a well-made and handsome garment. You can read more about it at the blog of the Royal Heraldry Society of Canada called "Call To Arms".

Archbishop William Lori of Baltimore

The Most Rev. William E. Lori was installed today at 2:00, pm as the XVI Archbishop of Baltimore at the Cathedral Church of Mary Our Queen in the nation's "primatial" see city. At left we see his coat of arms (designed by James Noonan and rendered by heraldic artist Linda Nicholson).


The overall appearance of the achievement is very nice indeed. Ms. Nicholson is a heraldic painter for the Canadian Heraldic Authority and she does a beautiful job all the time.


Archbishop Lori has modified his personal arms by adding the lion to the fess (central horizontal band), and adding a third billet at the top of the shield. Again, an overall pleasing design. The designer, Mr. Noonan, who somewhat pretentiously describes himself as, "...one of the few Vatican trained heraldists at work today" and also, "recognized at the leading Catholic heraldist of our own time...", two claims that go completely unsubstantiated, has established a name for himself as a heraldic designer but is primarily noted for the publication of his book, The Church Visible after he abandoned his pursuit of the priesthood.


There can be no doubt that Mr. Noonan comes up with striking, beautiful and heraldically correct designs. Furthermore, the artwork is always rendered in a beautiful style by Ms. Nicholson. However, some of Mr. Noonan's assertions are simply not worthy of the training he supposedly claims to have had. For example, the inclusion of the pallium in the arms hanging below the shield is claimed by Mr. Noonan to be something that was common in Catholic heraldry for centuries but which lapsed during the pontificate of Paul VI (1962-1978) only to be revived by Benedict XVI. While it is true the the present pope did include a papal pallium in his own heraldic achievement it is true neither that it was common in Catholic heraldry prior to 1962 nor that it lapsed during the 15-year pontificate of Paul VI. In fact, in his seminal work, Heraldry in the Catholic Church the late Abp. Bruno Heim (who Noonan claims trained him in heraldry...an interesting claim since Heim is no longer alive to dispute it) says: 


"In more recent ecclesiastical heraldry, the archbishop's pallium often appears above or below or even on the shield." (p.70)


This book was published in 1978 just at the end of Paul VI's pontificate and yet Heim makes no mention of it lapsing in the prior fifteen years and even says that it appears often in more recent achievements. Odd that the man who trained Mr. Noonan contradicts him so. Heim then goes on to point out that in British heraldry the pallium is often depicted on the shield as a charge not as an external ornament and opines that this is probably the best solution artistically and heraldically because to place it below the shield shows it, 


"...in a manner of the ribbons proper to orders of knighthood in secular heraldry. In this case it covers the shaft of the cross and the whole achievement looks too long." (p.73)


Again, it strikes me as odd that Mr. Noonan should depart so clearly from the opinions and methods of the man who helped make him into the leading Catholic heraldist of our time. It's as if Mr. Noonan was not even aware of Heim's thinking on the matter. Finally, Heim himself provides the reason that was also the prevailing thought behind the current pope's decision to include the pallium in his own coat of arms. Heim explains that, 


"The pallium is above all a Papal liturgical ornament. It is the symbol of the Pope's supreme pastoral power, and indicates his task of shepherding and leading the faithful and their pastors." (p.71)


Indeed, no metropolitan wears the pallium by right. It is a privilege extended to them by the Supreme Pontiff as a symbol of sharing in his pastoral authority because of their communion with him. All throughout the book Heim makes it clear that there is no reason to distinguish the arms of a metropolitan archbishop from those of any other archbishop heraldically. The pallium is not "unallowed" in Catholic heraldry. Rather, since its placement is both unnecessary and artistically difficult it is simply most often not used. Heim is really clear on that. Evidently, others aren't.


In addition, Mr. Noonan loves to go on and on about the shape, style and jewels chosen for the patriarchal (i.e. archiepiscopal) cross which stands behind the shield. This he does in all his designs. The problem there is that an individual's coat of arms is contained in what is on the shield. The external ornaments are not part of the design in such a way that their appearance can be specified and mandated to be depicted in a certain way. The depiction of the archbishop's arms will differ if it is rendered by different artists with different styles. They may not modify what is on the shield, that is to say, the specific charges, their color and general arrangement, but they most certainly draw a cross with two bars in any way that suits them. It doesn't have to be a cross fleuretty (which Mr. Noonan describes as "fleurity") and there do not even need to be any jewels depicted on it of whatever color. Again, these are things that are discussed inn the books published by Heim, his supposed mentor, as well as the late Cardinal Martin, another mentor.


In the end Archbishop Lori wound up with a beautiful, stylish and heraldically correct coat of arms. The choice to include the pallium is a matter of opinion and preference and a continually disputed one. Since he will possess the pallium as a vestment he is, indeed, entitled to use it heraldically. But, the justifications proposed by some heraldic "experts" are just so much fluff.

President of France

Francois Hollande (left) was elected on Sunday, may 6th as the new president of France. He beat incumbent Nicolas Sarkozy to become France's first socialist President since 1995.


Traditionally, the President of France is named an honorary canon of the Basilica of St. John Lateran in Rome. I wonder if the same honor will be offered to a socialist...or if so, if he will accept?

I Told You So!

Carrying scientists and researchers, the zeppelin, Eureka lifts off from McClellan Air Park in Sacramento, Calif., to search for pieces of a meteorite, Thursday, May 3, 2012. The researchers are using an aerial search hoping to locate sites where large fragments landed after a meteor exploded in the atmosphere over the Sierra Nevada in late April. Just as I mentioned in an earlier post, these things are making a comeback. This isn't a blimp...it's a zeppelin! (AP Photo/Rich Pedroncelli)

One World Trade Tallest in NY (again)

One World Trade Center still under construction (above) can once again claim the title of the tallest building in New York over the majestic Empire State Building. When completed (as it will appear below) the spire on top, which will house an antenna but is itself not an antenna but a decorative spire that is an integral part of the design, will make it the tallest building in the USA and the third tallest in the world.